is your actual birtday on the 23rd?
 

i am a floppy fudgepuddle
 

you and me both buddy
 

7 years?!?!? jesus christ already.
 

vers the awesome other guitarist gonna be? ya know the one that plays the fuck out of that guitar with the pickups falling out?
 

rck out w/ur cok out mofo
 

chris what do you want for your birthday
 

my birthday is the 24th. so on midnight we will have some kind of ritual of who knows.

yeah 7 years. at least. we've been terebithia since my sophomore year, which was....97...

i have alienated the other guitarist he is in portland and i owe him 50 bucks which i haven't sent to him. he does indeed play the fuck out of the guitar.

i don't want shit for my birthday. i want the bar to be full of my friends.
 

did you get shit last year?
 

eye heard that the awesome other guitarist is actually living in olympia with a needle up his sleeve, a cough, one foot in the grave, keefed up and dealing with the rigoris rigormortis hand of death knocking on grey lungs, he is not blind or fat despite what the rumor mill says, he is working on a rock'n'roll comeback album.
 

Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
National Space Research and Development Agency (NASRDA)
Plot 555
Misau Street
PMB 437
Garki, Abuja, FCT NIGERIA

Dear Mr. Sir,

REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE-STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL
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I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a later Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when the Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by return cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to come home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated flight pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Trust Association. If we can obtain access to this money, we can place a down payment with the Russian Space Authorities for a Soyuz return flight to bring him back to Earth. I am told this will cost $ 3,000,000 American Dollars. In order to access the his trust fund we need your assistance.

Consequently, my colleagues and I are willing to transfer the total amount to your account or subsequent disbursement, since we as civil servants are prohibited by the Code of Conduct Bureau (Civil Service Laws) from opening and/ or operating foreign accounts in our names.

Needless to say, the trust reposed on you at this juncture is enormous. In return, we have agreed to offer you 20 percent of the transferred sum, while 10 percent shall be set aside for incidental expenses (internal and external) between the parties in the course of the transaction. You will be mandated to remit the balance 70 percent to other accounts in due course.

Kindly expedite action as we are behind schedule to enable us include downpayment in this financial quarter.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this message via my direct number 234 (0) 9-234-2220 only.

Yours Sincerely, Dr. Bakare Tunde
Astronautics Project Manager
tip@nasrda.gov.ng

http://www.nasrda.gov.ng/