untitled poem
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i'm walking down another dead end street
such a dead end life i have
the sky isn't real
it isn't real
it's a figment of my imagination
see how self obsessed i am?
it's out of control
i can't stop thinking about this morning
my legs feel like lead weights
it's the most universal feeling there is
i want to share my life with you
it's been so good to me, i want you to have it now
i'm tired of hurting people
manipulating them, tearing them up
i just want to curl up and ......
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stuff that has happened in the past 72 hours
1. i got fired from ohio citizen action. my opinion on this is.......they are full of shit. something about that place is not right.
2. i alienated sunny AGAIN. my opinion on this is......... i don't know how to relate to her any more. i just don't get it.
3. on sunday sunny and i organized, cleaned, etc my room. rearranged the furniture, too. took us ALL DAY. she was amazing, she got really excited about something that i was dreading, and made it fun for both of us. the only thing that's missing from my room at this point is a giant poster of the talking heads. i mean, shit, i actually know what is in my closet.
4. a really nice lady let me throw a frisbee with her dog when i was canvassing in lyndhurst (small 'burb near shaker) on monday. she gave OCA a check for 40 dollars, even though all i asked her for was 36.
5. i'm getting really really excited about this summer. i think *finally* this is the summer eberwein becomes a real band, or whatever. i don't want to jinx it, but i do feel really really hopefull about the prospect of 4 boys who don't see each other hardly ever getting together and actually recording something that *could* be shopped to record labels. shit, i really reallly realllllllllly don't want to have a *normal* career. i want to rock and roll all night, and rock and roll all day.
6. chris hoke no longer smokes dope. chris hoke no longer smokes dope. i still get frustrated and WANT to smoke, but i won't let myself. and now all these toxins are trying to exit my body, and it's kind of gross. acne where NO ONE should have acne. lets just not tak about that.....
7. i've decided something. i'm sick and tired of people using me for something that does not matter at all. if you want to use me, use me for music, or for a job, or to provide some kind of service. if you just want to party and hang out and shit like that, well, i don't know. i'm sick of partying. i'm ready to do something with my life. i'm not saying i'm not any fun to hang around, but i get the feeling that some people just don't give a fuck about ME as a person, they only give a fuck about WHAT I CAN DO FOR THEM. does this sound like bitching? yes it does.
meladori magpie - by billy corgan, smashing pumpkins
and on her doorstep
i saw that i was blind
i'd forsaken
what was mine
what had mattered
mattered little now
we had shattered
apart somehow
oooooo
i can't help but stay the same
oooooo
i'll remain
true to my name
time to get up
and take the long walk home
for the first time
i go alone
do you remember, when we first met?
chasing down the alleyways behind my dad's
oooooo
i can't help but stay the same
oooooooo
i remain true to the name
of lovers past
good enough to lose
and good enough to choose
you
too
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"i'm hurt you're hurt my dad's hurt, haven't you heard, everyone's hurt!!!!!!"
caP'n Jazz
till next time
cHOKE
hahahahahahahahahah
first of all mad props to S.A. Nick-0 for hooking it up with this fattie fattie web thang.
what's up to all my mad people strugling with humanity these days.
let me tell you about my schedule these days......
wake up around 9 or ten
eat some food, watch some silly tv, get dressed, get ready for whatever is coming my way.
then i head downtown!!!!! always a phat place to be.
cause my job is downtown, so that's where i go.
i go to my job, ohio citizen action, and meet with crazy peeps that are trying to help save the enviroment.
we're having alot of fun, at least i am, though sometimes i get distracted by the clouds in the sky, and the leaves blowing, and nature happening around me all the time. it's crazy.
so then after being on the streets for a while we head back downtown, regroup, and head home.
then i get home and everyone wants to hear about my day, and all i want is to eat some food and go to sleep.
but it's cool.
lately i've been listening to the talking heads non stop.
i would recomend picking up these releases, if you haven't already:
talking heads: remain in light
talking heads: fear of music
talking heads: speaking in tongues
also i've been listening to the smashing pumpkins lately.
basicly everything they've ever done, but siamese dream, adore, and machina:the machines of god have been spinning with utmost frequency.
also i just started this CRAZY book called ".....and the truth shall set you free" by david icke
all i can say about it is that it is MIND EXPANDING.
i would write more, but it's time to do something else.
"peace to all the gods and the trees, and everything around me"
CHOKE
