live! tonight! not sold out!
the six parts seven cd release party
at the beachland ballroom.
haven't gone to a show in so long, it's embarrasing.
listening to mineral, "endsereneding"
this music makes me feel as though i am going to cry, for no reason at all.
if i close my eyes it sends shivers down my spine.
slack face with no expression, is this what you call a regression? i want to create but i don't know why, i want to change but i dont' know why.
"i'm reminded that your love, like the poles, these things will never change"
i lean to the left i lean to the left i always lean to the left.
am i sad? am i sorry? am i regretfull? am i hopefull.?
i wish i hadn't had that alcohol last night.
i wish i knew what to say around you.
you want to hear things that i don't want to say anymore, to anyone, for any reason.
reasons are for reasons.
i dont' have any any more.
i understand cap'n jazz now.
i understand the promise ring now..
i understand "we're trying so hard to forget who we are" now.
these feelings are getting in the way of a productive life. i should get up and get myself new things.
spend my money.
spend my inheritence.
play it safe
dont' take a chance
dont' put yourself out there
don't make yourself vulnerable
don't take risks.
i dont' take risks anymore.
i just go with the flow.
i still think that love is the only reason to do anything.
and love is the only reason anything ever gets done, weather or not you know it.
cHOKE
(hopelessly hopeless)
(feeling pathetic after another lame night)
(still doesn't eat meat)
(why did i say that? that was so stupid.....)
(wishing he was ANYWHERE but here. and knowing that once he gets there, he'll feel the same way)
