this is interesting....it gets better at the bottom...more evidence that the constitution is just glorified toilet paper.man some poor dog is either barking or wining or wincing or something, i can hear him down below, i can't tell if he's in pain of he's just got a funny bark...i'm in kovipudur...i think thats how you spell it.
i'm not sure what i'm doing. my plans keep changing....
some kind of search....for what, i dont' know.
wrote a new song today. i don't have words for any of my songs, so i just hum, or else i'll sing 'hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare' or something.... a whisper, or just in my head...i'm so consious of my voice...i don't want it to sound bad....when i listen to it, in recordings, it sounds weird to me, i can't tell if it sounds good or not.
i asked a couple of my friends if they thought i could be a rock star or something. one of em was like
'chris, you are made out of a star. you're already there' which made my day.
gettin email from peole i havent heard from makes my day. especially when they say 'man your blog is atrocious' or 'dude i thought the last post was righteous' or whatever. how is everyone enjoying the season of commercialism? if you're like me, you don't even notice. no tv to demand that i buy this thing or that thing, the billboards are mostly in hindu, so i cant' even understand them. the ones i can understand are like 'drink pepsi!" and show some indian cricket star/movie actor/ smiling face. i pick up the asian issue of time, and it reminded me, oh yeah, its getting near christmas, cause there was a 'letter from america' that said that 'kmart is begging people to shop there, saying that if they don't have a good holiday season they will be out of business' so they're trying to appeal to peoples........compassion. excuse me, but WTF? I will praise the day that church of Blatant Crass Consumerism chokes on its own girth. instead of spending your money there, why don't you.............donate it to a local soup kitchen? i should shut up, because it's not like i've ever done something so noble in my life. the times i worked at a soup kitchen i had to b/c my school at the time 'required' it. and i have shopped at a kmart, so how much of a hipocrite am i? ugh.....
some good news! really!what do you think about god? does he exist? is he important? can you be an activist for social causes, and also be a spiritual person? is there difference between religon and spirituality? should we even ponder these thoughts?
some of these questions i've been wrestling with. some i've already thought thru, and come to some conclusions.
in terms of "religon" i think there are only a few that have any merit. not in any order....
1. Buddhism
2. Hindu"ism"
3. Christianity - but to be clear, only the teachings of christ. the whole notion of 'church' - going to church, baahing with the rest of the crowd, looking good, etc. i think the teachings of Christ are horribly misunderstood by most people who go to church and would say they are 'christians' most people miss the boat, IMHO.
4. Various known and unknown religons, or belief systems of native americans, south americans, africa, aborigonies of australia, china, etc etc
it seems to me that God does exist. i can say in my personal experience that i have seen things that have made it absolutely clear that there is a Supreme Creator, or Force, or whatever you want to call it. it also seems to me, that if there is only one thing a human might know about that force, it is that it is pure love, 110% pure. if you can think of when you have felt loved in your life, and multiply it by the size of the universe (which is growing....which shows that the Creator...is still...creating) you will have a faint idea of the love that emanates from the Divine Source. Which leads me to think that, death is actually a great thing, b/c it is then that we will get closer to the creator, and closer to that love. there are probobly many many things we can do here on earth to get closer to his love, and i'm exploring ways in which i can feel some peace of mind that comes from knowing that God lives within me.
hey how about a mood breaker? here's one...occasionaly i have the bad habit of starting something, getting interested in it, and then losing intrest. such is the case with the above writing. i mean, i can blab about god all day long if i want, but i feel like i know...next to nothing. if you're curious about my thoughts, shoot me an email. xchokexus@yahoo.com is open 24/7/365 for your communication needs.
ok, well i've said some things....i've left out others....if you've read this far, you're probobly a member of the Information Awareness Office, or some other draconian field mouse, and i hope i'm put into your file marked 'un-American Tendencies, Watch Closely'
Love from Lotus land
Chris
