my first post in 5 months or so.
i miss the way we used to be
standing tall and feeling free
not knowing and knowing it was ok
tomorrow tomorrow is another day
and yet again i try for clarity
to see the mistakes that haunted me
i used to be so free and easy
now i'm just a pale ghost to see
don't let me go away
i want to stay i want to stay
please don't let me do it again
i want to be free i want to be free
i watch your face express things i only think of too myself.
it moves muscles i didn't know existed
it says things i can't comprehend
i'm trapped like a rat in this steel town
no way up and lots ways down
the jay hotel can put you to sleep
for cheep for cheap
down the hall take a nasty fall
onto stairs with glass and lots of trash
i could show you places to go
we could escape from this room of snow
everybodys doing rock star lines
what a fucking waste of time
why don't we get lost in the trees
lie down and feel the breeze
look at stars and count them down
from 200 to zero without a sound
ride the carnival suicide
just don't look down and you'll be fine
along the midway is money to lose
then yr pockets empty and here come the blues
so lets get out of this stupid trap
i want to be strong i want to feel that
whatever it takes to make it ok
happy and safe and dizzy and gay
she lies down on the leaves and grass
she sings to me about lovers past
she smiles alot and it gives me life
for just a moment it all seems right
i have dreams that scare me bad
doing things i don't want and feeling sad
i never want to be that again
i want to be free of all that i can
staring into a big sea of nothingness it occurs to me that thats all there is to it
everything is nothing and nothing is everything
and then a bird comes down and lands on my knee
and starts singing a song that i can't repeat
but it made my guts turn over and over
i shuddered a million times untill i couldn't take it
i fell over to the ground and wept for hours
untill i couldnt move at all
for a minute i couldn't feel anything
i couldn't hear anything it was silent
and then i realized i was dead and that was the reward
silence a million times over.
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eat yr vegetables
chris
