teacher  

anxiety. tonight i am uncomfortable with the unknown. i am out of my routine--i have been since july--and now i sit here with an unsettling feeling the night before my first day of teaching since summer began two months ago.

i revisited my journal from january of this year, my first month of official teaching at APHS. i wanted to taste what i was experiencing back then, partly to reminisce and partly to see if i could figure out a way to calm this feeling i have inside of me right now. i am not nervous, just anxious. and without a clue as to what will happen tomorrow. and the next day. and the day after that. i have my lessons and my planners, but no amount of paper work and preparation will get me ready for this new year. i just have to jump in and see what happens. ...after writing that, i seem to recall something that i had forgotten: the students are my source of energy, they are my inspiration. without them i am lost, without them i am anxious and wandering.

tomorrow, we are back.