listening to alot of karate lately.
i have "unsolved" and "some boots" with me
they are both excellent. "some boots" is probobly their best work, IMHO

sometimes i feel really good. real light airy happy smiling life is good life is good
sometimes i feel like it is an effort to be cordial and nice. it's irking me a little, b/c i want to even it out. sure, it's not the huge waves i used to feel but still it affects the way i treat people and the way i treat myself.

and then some thoughts came to me when i was on the bike riding around the city.
these feelings.....they are mine, mine alone. and i don't really know what they are. i can't describe them accurately to anyone, b/c words don't come up when i have these feelings. it's just that all the sudden i'll realize 'oh this is different than before' or whatever. i can't really associate words with them. and then i thought that there's no real way to talk to someone and tell from the words they use what they are saying...this is confusing, but what i mean is that communication, is it really words? is it really mathematical and commercial and all that? it seems to me that maybe the words we use are just maybe a way to expel energy and the real communication, and i mean when you're talking to someone next to you not on the phone, the real communication happens with your eyes and your heart.

does any of this make sense?
but then...music communicates so much, in words.
karate is awesome. it makes me feel...peacefull. whatever that means.
what does it mean to you? it means that i don't express anything facially, that i feel disconected from the troubles of my body and my mind is somewhat empty, that i can look around and observe everything without attaching huge brain numbing values to all i see "good" "bad" etc.

emptyness is a form of peace. i think.

i'm dying for some feedback from you guys out there...
everyone dropped off the face of the earth, i swear.
i bet you're all on your way to DC to tell "dubya" to stick it where the sun don't shine.

peace out
chris

::: posted 19 february 2003 at 06:17 am (india) [karma: 1 (+/-)] [ 1 comment. ] :::

so its been a few days since i posted anything that was about india, actually.

i've been in coimbatore for the past few weeks, not really doing a whole lot.
guitar playing, some other stuff.

kollur was really really nice. i should've stayed there a bit longer but i felt like maybe i would be overstaying my welcome. or maybe not. maybe i just needed to change the pace a little bit.

in any event this temple i was at was really magical. i tried to go every day and worship. always there was some kind of activity going on, crazy old indian music, some traditional dancing, lighting lamps on fire, chanting sanskrit, stuff like that. it really was something else, something else. the object of all this worship was/is a diety of the Divine Mother, which is said to be worshiped by all the gods and goddesses. she is the mother of the universe, encompasing all 3 of the divine mother incarnations into one diety. confusing? well whatever it is it's good stuff. in retrospect it was like other holy places i've been to...some churches in europe, some buddhist places in the states. but being there for a month straight it had a more profound effect on me, or so i'd like to think. i'm not sure how much of that i've been able to carry with me away from it, but it's a place i'd love to go back to. and some of the people i met there were really far out. there was a swamiji, he was kind of an ascetic but not really, (yeah chris good description...) i drank tea with him every day and he would tell me his prespective from a life lived in constant meditation and worship. he was a really happy guy, really joyfull, always smiling. and his advice, it was good advice, but not so much different from other advice that i've heard.

i've been thinking about god alot, about what it means to be spiritual or not, what it means to have character, what it means to be a good person etc. i really don't know. but something i've been thinking is that i know people, or i have heard of people that say 'god this' or 'god that' and always use it as a prop for taking action. and i know people, or i have heard of people who say 'i don't know if god exists or not' and act more 'spiritual' in their day to day lives than these so-called 'godly' people. i think there's a group of people out there that live wondrous lives and no one knows about whether or not god has anything to do with it. and i think that's definitley one (of many) ideal to live up to.

people should live happily and morally and ethically, with or without god.
but for some people, it's hard to see the value of 'values' without a higher authority.

who knows.
i'm thinking out loud here.

anyway stuff is going on, all over the world.

love chris

::: posted 16 february 2003 at 09:37 am (india) [karma: 0 (+/-)] [ no comments. ] :::

note it down: 15 february a day for action!!!!

here's a black arm band for a whole lotta people:
to the kurds in iraq, who get gassed by saddam using US WMD, then get used as a shield by the US when we attack iraq. here's a black arm band for you guys

to the south american freedom fighters and resitors of an evil regime, i disagree with your methods of reaction but i stand together with your cause and your fight. study some of gandhiji's philosiphy and lay your weapons down. here's a black arm band for you guys

to the world wide fighters against the elite system of US vs THEM, against making enemies and fighting them, to the people around the world who see the eternal soul of god within the hearts of all human beings, be they the GW Bushs and Saddam Husseins of the world, or the MLK Jrs and MK Gandhijis of the world, we've all gotta live here together in peace. here's a black arm band for you guys.

Peace and Love is not a daydream.....

chris

::: posted 15 february 2003 at 05:49 am (india) [karma: 1 (+/-)] [ no comments. ] :::

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/58899p-55144c.html


this was too much funny to pass up.
"dude, you're gettin a cell!"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i can laugh, cause i've gotten a cell too.
pretty funny...

choke
ps more india stuff soon

::: posted 11 february 2003 at 10:44 am (india) [karma: -1 (+/-)] [ 2 comments. ] :::

yeah............
check it out guys.
say goodbye to the so called 'freedom' in the USA.

http://www.public-i.org/dtaweb/report.asp?ReportID=502&L1=10&L2=10&L3=0&L4=0&L5=0

love chris

::: posted 08 february 2003 at 05:55 am (india) [karma: 1 (+/-)] [ no comments. ] :::

rolling up and down hills
with a jolt and a crunch
every time he changes gears

we speak to each other - naturally
quickly and with enthusiasim
repeating ourselves many, many times

it doesn't matter that:
your language is Malayala
my language is English
you are 10 years old
i am 22 years old
your friend has a blank eye
i have a prostetic eye

what matters is that:
you can cross your eyes
and stick out your tongue
i can pull out my cheeks
and make strange noises
*&*&*&***
all of us are happy
to laugh so hard
we fall off the seat cushions
and onto the sandy floor
of the express bus
to Udupi
--------------(end)---------


A person appeared in my dreams
or perhaps i appeared in his
we spoke to each other
in an endless green field
without complaining he
told me of old age, arthritis,
and his impending retirement

i forgot about
the uniform we shared
the discipline it required
----i fell down and cried
======and regretted it

why - looking forward
my subconcious looks back
why - planning the future
i remember pieces of the past
#################
his fingers were almost too fat
and he always stood behind the piano
he was only upset when it was required
that room was always filled with joy

when we talk of great teachers
great souls that have been sent by who knows what
we say -
christ, buddha, krsna, yogi
we say -
chompsky, ghandi, King jr, corgan
----------------i don't know these men
i never spoke to them
they never addresed me, personally

But just the same
i've had great souls, teachers
and they addresed me, personally
))()(((())((()()())))()()((((())))()(
I don't remember the name
of the man who always smiled
in a place where smiling was "Not Necessary"
All i remember is that
when i sang, i cried
and when i cried i thought:
"just for today, i can take it"
--------------------(end)----

i'm back in coimbature.
many great things are happening here
but i can't talk about it. sorry. when i get back.
um..........i read some of my old poetry, that's on the archives, and it inspired me to write.
and i'll keep writing, cause, the old stuff is really good, and i'm older now, so shouldn't i be able to write better stuff? something like that......
Rachel recieved the tape, so if you want copies, let me know......

"our father,who art in heaven..........."
chris to pher mar tin hoke

::: posted 05 february 2003 at 01:36 pm (india) [karma: -1 (+/-)] [ no comments. ] :::

name: Christopher Hoke
date of birth: 24/10/1980
day of birth: Friday

General Characteristics:

you are lead and controlled by planets VENUS and NEPTUNE

many of you are of medium height and dignified. you wish to be different from other people. you are polished and not showy. you do not freely mix with others. you weigh your words before expressing your thoghts. however, during discussions you may use strong words occasionally.

you wish to be alone and remain thoughtfull. you like to visit places free from crowds. you do help others but without the selfish motive to improve your position. you will not agree to do what seems impossible for you. you will think deeply before you undertake any action. you like to live in a less congested place. nobody can understand your mind. you will not reveal anything easily. sometimes you will appear dejected as if you have lost a valuable thing. you will also face some confusion. you are always absorbed in thoughts. while alone you get new ideas.

you reach high position in life and acquire house, conveyance and land. you are not steady in your thoughts. due to your deep faith in god you can enjoy full prosperities.

LUCKY PREDICTIONS:

Lucky number: 6,2
Lucky dates: 6,15,24,2,11,20,29
Unlucky dates: 3,12,29,30,9,18,27
Lucky colour: green, pale blue and pale yellow
Unlucky colour: rose, orange and violet
Lucky stone: emerald and jade
Lucky pole: west, north west
Lucky profession: teaching profession, luxury and cosmetics sale and textile business
Lucky age for marriage: 25-29 years
Life partner: Lucky to your choice
Children: Below 2 lucky
Lottery chance: Bright
Education: Till 20 yrs good. after that your own confidence
General knowledge: normal
Friend's help: will get
Relative help: can get
Partnership in business: will settle
Enmity: manageable
Accident: will affect. be carefull while traveling
Belief in god: not much
Diseases, present and future: eye disease, back ache and joints pains.

We also have:
numerology: Rs 20/-english, tamil, telugu and hindi, give name and DOB
astrology: (7 page) Rs 60/-only. english, tamil, telagu, hindi
horoscope with predictions: english only (18 page, RS 140) give name, DOB time of birth and place of birth (specify nearest town/city)

Annai Computers, 2/71-A, Pillayar Koil Street, Enjambakkam, Chennai-600 041

::: posted 04 february 2003 at 01:07 pm (india) [karma: 0 (+/-)] [ no comments. ] :::

yeah. um i was gonna write about the temple i just left but instead i'm just gonna say:

i'm sorry. you know who you are.

love and chutney
chris

::: posted 02 february 2003 at 11:51 am (india) [karma: -1 (+/-)] [ no comments. ] :::