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01/24/2003 Archived Entry: "what's going on"

a couple of years ago something happened to me.
i was behind a friends house in the middle of the night and something happened to me.

those of you that know me may know what i'm alluding too.
those of you that don't will just have to be in the dark about it.

since that night i've had a different, a new outlook on life, one that has been constantly changing and progressing, and i've had peaks and valleys of happiness and depression, elation and illusion.

whether you know it or not, since then the rest of my life has been measured from that point.
something is 'as good as' 'not as good as' 'kind of like' etc to that night.
and people are either going in the direction i'm trying to go, or they're running against the river.

alot of people i know are running against this river.
some of them know it. some of them don't.
some of them are fighting the current so hard that they're getting upstream.
but fighting this river is hopeless.

for many years i didnt' know there even was a river.
then when i saw it, it was so big and vast it made me affraid.
so i fought against it so hard, so hard, i nearly died.

and now here i am.
the river is so beautifull, and we are all swiming in it.
some people are aware of this, and they are so happy to be swiming, because they know how to swim, and that there is nothing to be affraid of. some people are just learning to swim.
some people dont know they are swiming, they are just doing the best they can, and it so happens that the swiming is like dessert. this is all really really vague, i know, but it feels right to me.

where are you?
where are you?

i'm getting back to where i want to be.
i'm getting back to where i want to be.
i want to be free. i want to be free.

this is how i feel:

"I can do it anywhere with anyone at anytime don't you forget
this is my life and it's going to be good, don't you know
not a promise or a threat or an ultimatum, though I can do that too
I'm just telling you, I've got this life I've got to live
I'm just following through" - dismemberment plan (they just broke up)

much luv
chris

--------------------------------------------EXTRA EXTRA!!! PVR # 004(1/3) OUT NOW!!!
Artist: cHOKE

Title: "Leaves floating down a river"

Track listing:

Side A

1. everything is subject to change
2. the wind only blows at night
3. giraffe neck
4. the lonely bracelet
5. the hollow voice

Side B
1. empty chairs
2. puritas blues
3. insturmental number one
4. telescoping fists
5. redwood forest ranger
6. insturmental number 2
7. you and me baby in the summer time

Info: recorded (very poorly) jan 18-19 2 aught aught 3 at Garuda Guha guest house, Kollur, India
if Rachel does not recieve the master copy in the mail, then there will be no release.
however, if she does recieve the master in the mail, copies can be secured through her.
please email xchokexus@yahoo.com or reply to this post if you would like to be on the list of recipients. include your name, address, and favorite way to prepare broccoli. if you have no favorite way, you may substitute your least favorite way. If you would like to help cHOKE bring his rocknroll circus to your town, move to cleveland and learn how to play drums like keith moon or keyboards like brian eno. securing a practice area would be helpfull as well.

Remember! someday, you and everyone you have ever known will be dead, and then no one will care if you did or didn't eat the last cookie.

replies: 2 comments.

my favorite way to prepare brocoli is to steam it & then eat it & then vomit it & then steam it & then eat ithen vomthen eat it it it & then steam it & &t & then vomit it & then steam it it && then it & it & then stthen vomit vomit it & then steam it & it & then steam it & thesteam it & t& then eat it & then vomit it thenthen eat hen eat n eat it &eam it & thththen vomit en eat it &en vomit it & then steam it & then eat it & then vomit it & tthen vomit it & then steam it & then eat it &hethen vomit it & then steam it & then eat it &n steam itthen vomit it & then steam it & then ethen vomit it & then steam it & then eat it & at it & & then eat it &

posted by g.ghost. @ 01/25/2003 03:22 PM india

i would surely like a copy of these songs, they most like will make my brain ooze out thru my ears and eyes. i used to record for a band called rubella, but they all died & went to heaven.
i am currently a ghost & have a brite future of alcholism in the works. ***
my name is greg ghost.
i live at 3520 w.100 street.
in clevebland, ohio 44111
i can be reached at : metrognomes@hotmail.com.

posted by greg ghost. @ 01/25/2003 03:19 PM india