i’d like to see myself in this place (violet/new orleans) as a maintainer and as a resource to those who work selflessly in supporting the communities here (i.e. keep-hope.org). i would also like to absorb the spirit and wisdom of this place and learn from my neighbors. it was not entirely a conscious choice to come south, but it is a conscious choice to stay.

i’d like to grow with this soul i’ve come to fall in love with via memories and through letters. in life, i’ve come to worry that desire for a person–desire that takes you over rivers and mountains to see them–only leads to an anxiety over the separation of person/place. what i mean is that i find myself in this not-so-new home of new orleans with a new appreciation of “place”, yet falling for a person in a different location seems to fracture my connection with that home-place. in the instance of new orleans/violet, i have continually been at odds with it’s state of “home,” even though it has rightly become one. now that i have fallen in love with someone in another place and begin daydreaming of moving to that place (even a place i thought i would never live), i suddenly start reinforcing my beliefs of why new orleans/violet shouldn’t be my home. what i’ve failed to admit is that it already is.

really, i think it is important for me to wholly admit this is home, and then to visit with this love and ponder together the prospect of making a new home. all the little details i worry so much about–material possesions: tools, vehicles, stuff…ownership, responsibility, accountability–these things will work themselves out once a reason for home is established, where ever that may be. here. or there.

It seemed so fast to think of it now breaks my heart. But in the long days of home the world went on forever. Every day was a thousand years. Electric lines hummed over quiet roads; trees whispered secrets and spoke of signs and wonders. The light of afternoon filtered through my fingers laced before my eyes to reveal the sweetness of the world below and of the world above my head. My hidden heart made words and symbols and created a sense of place that made the days stretch into a memory that long may as well be a lifetime. And the silence of the day would bear down and then the sun would sink low and my heart would be cast up into the language of evening; into the mystery of home.

out of all things, all places, i wonder where am i?
i made a mistake: i told my friends i’m leaving. i was excited, not thinking like my usual self. really, i needed to keep my thoughts to myself, take a trip, soak up my secret desire to go someplace far away between mountains and sea. i am alone, dreaming of this face. i am wondering where am i? where am i? i am here, with you.

i day dream often. i don’t take enough time to look into the river. i sleep in. i work on too many projects at once. i live carefully yet recklessly. i wander. i have trouble relating to most people. i am scared of being alone. i can’t find enough time to be alone, sometimes.
i miss home. it is right here. right there.

(first paragraph from jaci)

Friday, April 11 @ 8 pm
New Orleans, LA
Co-presented with WWOZ

Tapping into the city’s vibrant radio scene and joining forces with New Orleans’ Jazz and Heritage Station, WWOZ, the Third Coast Festival presents an evening of lively, sound-rich and NOLA-relevant radio stories—you’ll hear about jazz (duh), ghosts, mousetrap sadists…

After a couple hours of hot radio, Delfeayo Marsalis’ New Orleans Jazz Show will continue the evening’s sonic celebration, taking the stage at 10 pm.

Where: Donna’s Bar and Grill - 800 N. Rampart St, French Quarter

Tickets: Admission is free all night!

[ PDF flyer! ]