i am home on a friday night. it’s cold outside, 39 degrees. the temperature might hit freezing tonight. niobo went home to violet to put the seedlings inside the house to save them from the cold.

if this part of the south were ever “home,” it is now. if you know me you know i have little roots and identifying the place where i am from is a long answer. thinking about new orleans as home will stress me out. wondering where i belong can cause me anxiety. but i am learning patience and how to be in the present, to be here now. and not question tomorrow.

just a little over a year ago i left this place. i didn’t decide to leave, i seemed to follow the decision made by others. we were volunteers. and outsiders. and we were supposedly burnt out. or at least ready to complete this voyage in our unchartered adventure. none of us had planned this: one week into one year; one month into a new love. still, i believe that in the depths of my gut back in february of last year i wanted to stay. but memories are always foggy and there are so many details i am forgetting to mention…. all in all, my time ended in violet for good, and chicago–for lack of any other home–was where i could find myself again. or this is what i presumed.

but i’m getting off topic. no, wait, i don’t really have a topic here. new orleans? chicago? home? hope?

if you read this journal back a few months, you know i have family here now. and if you check hope you know it’s still around, tribal as ever (don’t let the professional look fool you). and this life is about joy and tolerance and believing in each other so we can be strong for those who lose strength sometimes. or all the time.

a single new orleans day is an entire lifetime. we don’t let it slip away, no matter who, no matter how. live…