but i would like to thank my friend nic, who runs okcancel.org. most of the people who are reading this know nic personally, and a few of us have known him for 7 years now. nic has given me a christmas present, mainly, he is redesigning the cHOKE portion of okcancel.org. why? well, i asked for a few changes, something i thought would be cool, like a bulletin board that people could post to and ask specific questions to me, without the hassle of email. plus, everyone could read the comments, and comment on the comments. and then comment on the comment that the comments don't really make any new comments about the original comments. so we could all be yakking it up. so nic is doing that, and he's also doing a little redesign, as cHOKE has looked like this since the album "the bed is in the ocean" by Karate came out, which was 99? 98? in terms of websites, a whole millenia ago.

so nic is worshiping at the alter of selfless giving, he is a devotee of the highest ideals that man can aspire too, which is being of service to his fellow man. so everyone should take note of the selfless act, to please my desire for a little space on the web, he is doing on the only bit of free time he has inbetween semesters at school. if i was him, i'd be at some show drinking some good beer.

those of you who don't know nic, here's a little about him:
he is kind, compassionate, passionate, giving, selfless, loyal, independent, brave, loving, creative, beautifull.......

in short, he embodies the ideals that we should all strive for.

enjoy the holidays

chris

:::12/24/2002 10:26:11 PM (india, +5.5 GMT):::::::

Christ said this:
"if you had the faith of a Mustard seed, you could tell that mountain to get up and move, and it would"
i'm paraphrasing, ok? so don't get biblical on me (oh wow that's a lame joke)
he also said:
'the only way to get to the father, is to go through me'
this has been interpreted by most people to say, you must believe in ME, or you will go to hell.
well.....here is what i think.
what he is really saying is, if you have a genuine desire to know the Supreme Father, if you want to Know him intimatley, the only way is to follow the ideals i am putting forth in my teachings. which means, love everyone, practice ahimsa (non-violence), serve your fellow man, and engage in some teachings that are designed to help you realize the love that is inherant in every particle of the universe. But you don't have to believe in me. you have to believe in your own value, your own connection to the Eternal. your own ability to Love, and to be Loved. stuff like that.

in that spirt, let us celebrate the life of Christ, a true Master of the Universe!

um, below is just somthing i emailed a friend, but i thought it should go up here, too.

these days the prospect of bettering the lives of people around me, helping and serving others, that is what puts smiles on my face. and the eternal mystery of life, the mystery that surrounds religon, and man, and spirituality, and how to make sense of all of it. how can we get from where we are right now, which is great in some ways, to where we want to be, which is (for me) the prospect of the good values of the USA, mainly, prosperity and freedom for all people, open arms to anyone that wishes to live there, the highest ideals of environmental security, freedom of expression, etc etc etc. the us, it seems, is forgeting what it was founded on, or at least, the public doens't care enough to protest the draconian meassures taken by the govt. blah blah. blah.

my dream, is some kind of world where there is no war, there is no poverty, there is a more equal distribution of wealth, and where there is total freedom of expression, thought, and belief. i think these are the ideals of most good people, and they get stopped by listening to people who want to keep things the way they are, ie: the GW Bush's and Putin's and the Media, etc etc etc.

this is just my 2 cents, right now.

ok take care.
flamers are welcome to join my party.
cHOKE

:::12/23/2002 03:46:42 PM (india, +5.5 GMT):::::::

so my friend, who i thought was giving me a compliment like, yeah you're a star, no the person was just telling me that, literaly, i am made of stars, that we are all made of that same matter. i had been ego tripping in my mind the past day or so, and it brought me back to earth....i even had my first mtv video figured out. and then i was thinking 'well, i could have 'cribs' do my apartment, and then i could show people all these vegetables, and my cars....' blah blah blah. ego is crazy stuff, let me tell you. it's a good thing i slapped myself upside the head. so how is everyone doing? oh man the holidays are here, huh? i bet everyones getting into that christmas spirit. BTW, when was christ born? oh i'm sorry that's a trick question.....if you actually know, let me know i'd like to celebrate his real date of birth. i got this book on philosiphy, its a little one with 1 page descriptions of diffferent points of view, stuff like that. i didnt' know what an agnostic was, but now i know. in some respects i would have to say i am somewhat agnostic. i feel that i have suffiecient evidence to prove to myself that god does indeed exist, but what how can i be sure? maybe my evidence is based on false memories, incorrect assumptions, creations of my own mind, who is to know? the more i think about it, the more i feel like i need to go back to my Landmark training, get back into that. that stuff is powerfull, man. it's righteous.

did you hear about this?

here's a quote from the story:
"Michael Swetnam, co-author of a book on bin Laden and al-Qaida, said Murray's comments were mostly on the mark. He said bin Laden since 1988 has been on a mission to build schools, roads and homes for widows of those killed in the fight against the Soviets in Afghanistan."

um.....and this from the senator herself...
"Having a challenging and thoughtful discussion about America's future reflects the best values of a free democracy; to sensationalize and distort in an attempt to divide does not.

While there are some on the extreme fringes of society who try to exploit fear and uncertainty for political gain, there are many more who understand that the best value of our democracy is the freedom to think and to secure a better future."

that's why its called a 'free country'
which brings me to another thing : Sen. Lott.
alot of people are calling for his resignation from his post in the senate. he has already resigned from his post as Majority Leader.
While his remarks are pretty....sad...pathetic....evocative of an ideology that most people have long been trying to eradicate, let me ask you: has he broken any laws? he is a free person, he is an elected representative of his state. he is free to say whatever the heck he wants too. obviously, if his collegues in the GOP think that his comments reflect ideas they are trying to run away from, then it doesn't serve them for him to be their leader, so it makes sense that he should resign from the majority position. but being vilified and crucified, so to speak, for talking - that's rediculous. i mean, c'mon, he's allowed to say whatever he wants, however 'bizzare' and 'segregationist' it may appear. as it is said, talk is cheap.

ok. more later.
love and peace fromt the land of the lotus.
chris

:::12/21/2002 07:26:49 PM (india, +5.5 GMT):::::::

man some poor dog is either barking or wining or wincing or something, i can hear him down below, i can't tell if he's in pain of he's just got a funny bark...i'm in kovipudur...i think thats how you spell it.

i'm not sure what i'm doing. my plans keep changing....
some kind of search....for what, i dont' know.
wrote a new song today. i don't have words for any of my songs, so i just hum, or else i'll sing 'hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare' or something.... a whisper, or just in my head...i'm so consious of my voice...i don't want it to sound bad....when i listen to it, in recordings, it sounds weird to me, i can't tell if it sounds good or not.

i asked a couple of my friends if they thought i could be a rock star or something. one of em was like
'chris, you are made out of a star. you're already there' which made my day.
gettin email from peole i havent heard from makes my day. especially when they say 'man your blog is atrocious' or 'dude i thought the last post was righteous' or whatever. how is everyone enjoying the season of commercialism? if you're like me, you don't even notice. no tv to demand that i buy this thing or that thing, the billboards are mostly in hindu, so i cant' even understand them. the ones i can understand are like 'drink pepsi!" and show some indian cricket star/movie actor/ smiling face. i pick up the asian issue of time, and it reminded me, oh yeah, its getting near christmas, cause there was a 'letter from america' that said that 'kmart is begging people to shop there, saying that if they don't have a good holiday season they will be out of business' so they're trying to appeal to peoples........compassion. excuse me, but WTF? I will praise the day that church of Blatant Crass Consumerism chokes on its own girth. instead of spending your money there, why don't you.............donate it to a local soup kitchen? i should shut up, because it's not like i've ever done something so noble in my life. the times i worked at a soup kitchen i had to b/c my school at the time 'required' it. and i have shopped at a kmart, so how much of a hipocrite am i? ugh.....

some good news! really!

what do you think about god? does he exist? is he important? can you be an activist for social causes, and also be a spiritual person? is there difference between religon and spirituality? should we even ponder these thoughts?

some of these questions i've been wrestling with. some i've already thought thru, and come to some conclusions.
in terms of "religon" i think there are only a few that have any merit. not in any order....
1. Buddhism
2. Hindu"ism"
3. Christianity - but to be clear, only the teachings of christ. the whole notion of 'church' - going to church, baahing with the rest of the crowd, looking good, etc. i think the teachings of Christ are horribly misunderstood by most people who go to church and would say they are 'christians' most people miss the boat, IMHO.
4. Various known and unknown religons, or belief systems of native americans, south americans, africa, aborigonies of australia, china, etc etc

it seems to me that God does exist. i can say in my personal experience that i have seen things that have made it absolutely clear that there is a Supreme Creator, or Force, or whatever you want to call it. it also seems to me, that if there is only one thing a human might know about that force, it is that it is pure love, 110% pure. if you can think of when you have felt loved in your life, and multiply it by the size of the universe (which is growing....which shows that the Creator...is still...creating) you will have a faint idea of the love that emanates from the Divine Source. Which leads me to think that, death is actually a great thing, b/c it is then that we will get closer to the creator, and closer to that love. there are probobly many many things we can do here on earth to get closer to his love, and i'm exploring ways in which i can feel some peace of mind that comes from knowing that God lives within me.

hey how about a mood breaker? here's one...

occasionaly i have the bad habit of starting something, getting interested in it, and then losing intrest. such is the case with the above writing. i mean, i can blab about god all day long if i want, but i feel like i know...next to nothing. if you're curious about my thoughts, shoot me an email. xchokexus@yahoo.com is open 24/7/365 for your communication needs.

ok, well i've said some things....i've left out others....if you've read this far, you're probobly a member of the Information Awareness Office, or some other draconian field mouse, and i hope i'm put into your file marked 'un-American Tendencies, Watch Closely'

Love from Lotus land
Chris

:::12/20/2002 09:55:26 PM (india, +5.5 GMT):::::::

Give us your poor, well, actually, you can keep em all....

Dude, you got Googled

um.... today my tummy hurtzz a little but thats ok i'm not sick really i'm fine. last night i saw an indian movie, even though it didnt have subtitles it was still pretty easy to follow. the main character was a cripple, or whatever the pc term is, i don't know, the dude had a hump on his back and walked with his knees going in and had huge buck teeth, but he was really funny, he had the silliest expressions. so he tries to get married, but the only girl that will marry him is a scary looking midget, so he is without a wife. so then he helps this other girl get together with this famous basketball player, who is played by the same guy that is playing the cripple, a la dr evil/austin powers, ya dig? so he helps this girl run away with the basketball star, but the night she runs away she runs into the village psycho, who is gonna rape her. but then he pushes her off a cliff and she dies in her lovers arms, ouch!! while this is going on the cripple meets this blind girl and she falls for him, cause he really is a nice guy, and she can't see his humpback etc. so then they find out she can get an experimental surgery to cure her blindness. everyone tells the cripple to tell her not to do it, cause then she'll see his freakish looks and not want to be with him, but he says, i'd rather her know who i really am and judge me, rather than not knowing if she would love me if she saw me, etc etc blah blah aww isn't that sweet. so the surgery, is a success!! and here's the kicker....they use the eyes of the basketball player's lover who just died!!! the basketball guy finds out and starts stalking the girl, and she's freaked out cause he looks at her like...he wants her pants. and the cripple, he sees the blind girl hug the basketball guy when she thought he was the cripple, and goes into seclussion. eventually the father finds him and tells him to come back, she wants to see him, and he does, and at first she just gives him blessings cause she thinks he's just some cripple but then he speaks and she knows its the guy she fell in love with and.....well i think you can guess.

but wait!!! that night while the cripple and his bride to be are sleeping the door knocks....and its the psycho rapist who told the cripple he would kill him if he ever saw him again, so he starts beatin the crap out of him, but then he notices the bride to be... and he almost gets away with it, but then the basketball guy shows up and kills him, it's very dramatic, and everything is good. the movie ends with the cripple and the blind girl ( whos not blind anymore) getting hitched.

during movies at the theatre the indians clap along with the songs. all the movies are like musicals, they all have singing and dancing parts, no matter what kind of movie they are. so the audience they clap and cheer when the hero kills the villian, they clap when the music goes, they show alot of emotion during the movie. the movie i saw was pretty good, i thought. even thou i couldn't understand it.

so i'm in Cochin now, and it's very nice. not alot of pollution, not alot of garbage, it's a huge city.
i like it here, but hotels are a little bit more than usual. but it's still verrrrry cheap. i got a new shirt, and it cost me about 4 dollars. so i'm going to buy some more after i sign off. i went on a tourist boat that went to some cool places, some 500 year old churches and a former palace where there is a mural of the 'ramayana' that is 200 years old. cool stuff.

everywhere i go, i think of people i know, and what they would be acting like if they were with me.
i want to organize a trip here with a bunch of my friends, cause that's the only thing i'm missing here.

um...............Just Say No...to War in Iraq......
peace and love
chris

:::12/19/2002 06:52:13 PM (india, +5.5 GMT):::::::